Thursday
Dec062007
Batman on Language and Foreign Policy
Thursday 6 December, 2007
Superintendent Watson: Well, I think this calls for a cup of char at venerable Ireland Yard.
Robin: Char?
Batman: Yes, Robin, a colloquialism for tea.
Bruce: Don't dip your oar in this sordid sea, Dick. You might be besmirched.
Batman: Cattail Lane and Nine Lives Alley. The Grimalkin Novelty Company is on that corner."
Robin: Grimalkin? What kind of a name is that?
Batman: An obscure but nevertheless acceptable synonym for cat, Robin.
Robin: You can't get away from Batman that easy!
Batman: Easily.
Robin: Easily.
Batman: Good grammar is essential, Robin.
Robin: Thank you.
Batman: You're welcome.
Batman: Nobody wants war.
Robin: Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours.
Batman: Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years.
Batman: [After being buzzed by Joker] Another...practical joke, Joker.
Joker: Not exactly Batman, it's my deadly joker buzzer, one by one your five senses will leave you. Then your lungs will collapse, and certainly you'll be GAPUMP, FINI, DIFUNCT.
...
Joker: [shocked] No, you're GAPUMP, FINI, DIFUNCT.
Batman: We're very much NOT difunct Joker. Neither is Batgirl.
...
Batgirl:
Joker: That's the first time I've ever heard a cat purr in French.
Dick: Awww, heck! What's the use of learning French anyway?
Bruce: Dick, I'm surprised at you! Language is the key to world peace. If we all spoke each other's tongues, perhaps the scourge of war would be ended forever.
Dick: Gosh, Bruce, yes. I'll get these darn verbs if they kill me!
Robin: "Ghoti" is "fish"?
Batman: See here. English phonetics. GH becomes F, as in "tough" or "laugh". O becomes I as in "women". TI becomes SH as in "ration" or the word "nation".
Robin: Holy semantics, Batman. You never cease to amaze me!
Batman: He's from Philadelphia.
Dick Clark: How did you know?
Batman: You dipped your diphthong. People from Philidelphia are known for that.
Batman: I know. Hieroglyphics self-taught are a chore, Robin; but, it is a surefire way to unravel the secrets of the ancient mystics.
Batman: Robin, the Constitution provides that a man is innocent until proven guilty. And the Constitution is the cornerstone of our great nation. We must abide by it.
Robin: Gosh, when you put it that way...
Dick: I thought Lima was the capital of Equador.
Bruce: As you can see, I was right. It's the capital of Peru.
Aunt Harriet: Oh, I just love this game of capitals. It's just so educational!
Bruce: Not only that, if we don't know all about our friends to the south, how can we can carry out our good neighbor policy?
Robin: Char?
Batman: Yes, Robin, a colloquialism for tea.
Bruce: Don't dip your oar in this sordid sea, Dick. You might be besmirched.
Batman: Cattail Lane and Nine Lives Alley. The Grimalkin Novelty Company is on that corner."
Robin: Grimalkin? What kind of a name is that?
Batman: An obscure but nevertheless acceptable synonym for cat, Robin.
Robin: You can't get away from Batman that easy!
Batman: Easily.
Robin: Easily.
Batman: Good grammar is essential, Robin.
Robin: Thank you.
Batman: You're welcome.
Batman: Nobody wants war.
Robin: Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours.
Batman: Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years.
Batman: [After being buzzed by Joker] Another...practical joke, Joker.
Joker: Not exactly Batman, it's my deadly joker buzzer, one by one your five senses will leave you. Then your lungs will collapse, and certainly you'll be GAPUMP, FINI, DIFUNCT.
...
Joker: [shocked] No, you're GAPUMP, FINI, DIFUNCT.
Batman: We're very much NOT difunct Joker. Neither is Batgirl.
...
Batgirl:
Joker: That's the first time I've ever heard a cat purr in French.
Dick: Awww, heck! What's the use of learning French anyway?
Bruce: Dick, I'm surprised at you! Language is the key to world peace. If we all spoke each other's tongues, perhaps the scourge of war would be ended forever.
Dick: Gosh, Bruce, yes. I'll get these darn verbs if they kill me!
Robin: "Ghoti" is "fish"?
Batman: See here. English phonetics. GH becomes F, as in "tough" or "laugh". O becomes I as in "women". TI becomes SH as in "ration" or the word "nation".
Robin: Holy semantics, Batman. You never cease to amaze me!
Batman: He's from Philadelphia.
Dick Clark: How did you know?
Batman: You dipped your diphthong. People from Philidelphia are known for that.
Batman: I know. Hieroglyphics self-taught are a chore, Robin; but, it is a surefire way to unravel the secrets of the ancient mystics.
Batman: Robin, the Constitution provides that a man is innocent until proven guilty. And the Constitution is the cornerstone of our great nation. We must abide by it.
Robin: Gosh, when you put it that way...
Dick: I thought Lima was the capital of Equador.
Bruce: As you can see, I was right. It's the capital of Peru.
Aunt Harriet: Oh, I just love this game of capitals. It's just so educational!
Bruce: Not only that, if we don't know all about our friends to the south, how can we can carry out our good neighbor policy?
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