Monday
Jul162007
The most specific guidelines in the world... ever
Monday 16 July, 2007
'We are seeking stories of an absurdist and surrealist nature for the next issue, which will be an online flash fiction edition. Stories should be 1000 words or less. They should not fit comfortably within any genre. We have peculiar tastes and recommend that you read an issue before sending in your work (issue 2 is a free PDF). No multiple submissions or previously published material. Simultaneous submissions are fine, but let us know the moment that your story is accepted elsewhere. Please use ONE space between sentences. Please burn the second space as an offering to the memory of your high school typing teacher. Use line spaces spaces for paragraph breaks rather than indents. Underline all italicized words. Specify the word count. Include a bio and mailing address with your submission. We ask for First North American Serial Rights and the copyright reverts back to you upon publication. Send an email if you don't get a confirmation in a week. Payment is a three issue subscription to the print issue. We reserve the right to make minor editorial changes.'
'We prefer humorous stories where impossible things happen. It must be able to grab our attention from the very first line. And make every word count.
Our favorite authors include Steve Aylett, D. Harlan Wilson, Steve Erickson, and Mark Leyner.
WHAT WE ARE NOT LOOKING FOR
We are unlikely to accept horror stories. But if you do send one, make sure it's unconventional. The stories of Thomas Ligotti would be a good example of the sort of horror that we enjoy.
No stories with overused concepts that are central to the plot - such as zombies, vampires, ghosts, demons, werewolves, space aliens, God(s), or any Dungeon and Dragons-type of characters.
No stories that would be a good fit for any existing genre magazine.
No extreme horror/splatterpunk. Although there are no restrictions regarding content, we find wall-to-wall sex and violence extremely boring. But it's ok to use elements from this sub-genre.
No accounts of all the zany things that a character does after getting drunk and/or stoned.
No stories with endings that MAKE the story. In other words, when the story is mediocre up until the ending and the ending is so good that it enhances the quality of what has come before it. Also, no stories that are setups for jokes, with the ending being the punch line. We would prefer a joke in every sentence.
No stories that feature a protagonist who is a writer.
No passive protagonists. The protagonist must do something rather than have something done to them.
No stories that are mostly exposition. We prefer stories that are composed of scenes.
Response time is six weeks or less.
Send submission as a Microsoft Word or Rich Text document.'
from Absurdist Journal
'We prefer humorous stories where impossible things happen. It must be able to grab our attention from the very first line. And make every word count.
Our favorite authors include Steve Aylett, D. Harlan Wilson, Steve Erickson, and Mark Leyner.
WHAT WE ARE NOT LOOKING FOR
We are unlikely to accept horror stories. But if you do send one, make sure it's unconventional. The stories of Thomas Ligotti would be a good example of the sort of horror that we enjoy.
No stories with overused concepts that are central to the plot - such as zombies, vampires, ghosts, demons, werewolves, space aliens, God(s), or any Dungeon and Dragons-type of characters.
No stories that would be a good fit for any existing genre magazine.
No extreme horror/splatterpunk. Although there are no restrictions regarding content, we find wall-to-wall sex and violence extremely boring. But it's ok to use elements from this sub-genre.
No accounts of all the zany things that a character does after getting drunk and/or stoned.
No stories with endings that MAKE the story. In other words, when the story is mediocre up until the ending and the ending is so good that it enhances the quality of what has come before it. Also, no stories that are setups for jokes, with the ending being the punch line. We would prefer a joke in every sentence.
No stories that feature a protagonist who is a writer.
No passive protagonists. The protagonist must do something rather than have something done to them.
No stories that are mostly exposition. We prefer stories that are composed of scenes.
Response time is six weeks or less.
Send submission as a Microsoft Word or Rich Text document.'
from Absurdist Journal
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